tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-337963432008-01-31T17:52:46.014ZChristopher LampshireBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-31511798476329426742008-01-31T16:33:00.000Z2008-01-31T17:52:46.109Z

I haven't been getting letters lately because I'm not very popular, but recently I found this letter in the mail box which I forgot to check for a year. The letter reads: "Dear Chris, Dude, help me out, man. I just stole a credit card and I'm on the run, and I want to spend someone else's money I now have on shoes, because they're so expensive. At first I thought I would just buy the most

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-31352563778089244012007-02-09T09:18:00.000Z2007-02-04T18:32:14.674Z

I got this email on my Blackberry while I was skydiving: "Dear C. L. (your initials), First of all, if you just happen to be skydiving, don't let me distract you too much or you might forget to open the parachute! Having said that, I will now write some more. I have a comb and a hairbrush, but I'm not sure which one to use. It seems like the hair brush is just an array of combs... I have

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1170003322476984412007-01-28T16:20:00.000Z2007-01-28T16:55:22.700Z

I got this email this morning as I ate crumpets and donuts: "Dear Lampshire, I am quite fond of your work. You seem like you know what you're talking about. I like that, I respect that. Attitude is everything, I say. Is the glass mostly empty, or a little full? You know what I mean? I have a question for you... day light savings time. I hate it. It gets me all off track. It's like

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1164874108400198492006-11-30T07:28:00.000Z2006-11-30T08:08:28.656Z

Good day, mate! I got this in my email from a young lad, Bert Gepew from Miami. He wrote: "Dear Mr. Lampshire, Good morning! At least, it's morning here, but by the time you read this it might not be. Isn't that weird? Anyway, I have a question, and by the way, I like your blog, it's really far out and groovy dude. You're the bee's knees, as we cool kids say. I guess you would not

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1162886338417994972006-11-07T07:53:00.000Z2006-11-07T07:58:58.426Z

I got this question the other day when I walked into work: "Hi Mr. Lampshire, How are you? From me, Phillip the polite jolly old chap." Phillip, I'm fine, thanks. Well, that's all for today. Remember boys and girls, and try not to forget. Thanks for your question, Phillip the dunderhead.

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1160545815302822672006-10-11T06:13:00.000+01:002006-10-11T06:50:15.313+01:00

I recently got this email from Gretel Grootel from Windsor. She writes: "Dearest Christopher of the Lampshire clan, I bring to you good greetings and good fortune and good tidings. I have a question I would die of happiness if you answered, for you are the wisest of them all. My dog (named Foofoo Gumdrops the Third) likes to eat people food. My question is, if all the humans in the world

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1159608907402082382006-09-30T09:52:00.000+01:002006-09-30T10:41:46.080+01:00

I got this letter from little Willy Winkly, a nine year old from Shrewsbury. He wants advice on his future, and I am just the person to ask since parents are biased in favor of you and I'm not. Willy writes: "Dear Mr. L, Howdy partner! My name is Willy, but people only pronounce it with one 'l' to save time so it's Wily. I've been lately thinking about how I should make money when I get

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1159084078746775972006-09-24T08:10:00.000+01:002006-09-24T08:52:05.876+01:00

A couple of years ago I found this letter in a dustbin by Big Benny (as I call it) and decided to hold on to it until blogs were invented so that I could blog it. It's from Samantha Screech: "To whom it may concern: I want to get a new computer, but when it comes to computers I just don't know what I'm doing. When it comes to getting a new one, I know even less, which means I know a negative

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1158309721706839202006-09-15T09:21:00.000+01:002006-09-15T09:42:01.733+01:00

I got this email from Fred Burper regarding the game of golf: "Dear Mr. Lampshire, I want to be considered an athlete, but I really don't want to do anything physical. I tried bowling, but the balls were too heavy and my fingers kept slipping so I kept getting gutter balls. I think golf would therefore be the ideal sport for me. After all, I enjoy put-put. But... how do you play golf? All

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157954277124036912006-09-11T06:35:00.000+01:002006-09-11T06:57:58.986+01:00

I got this humbling letter over the weekend from Colin Handyfin, one of my many fans: "Dear Honorable Gentleman Lampshire, You might know me. I just have a slight question for you, as you are clearly a very smart man. How do you know your questioners names? They sign their letters with their first name, then some adjective following "the." Yet in introducing the letters, you state their full

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157780912038159512006-09-09T06:29:00.000+01:002006-09-09T06:51:48.906+01:00

Here's an email from Betsy Bellyflop. I just found this email in my desk drawer in the "Really Stupid" pile: "Dear Mr. Lampshire, Hello! How are you? What time is it there? It is almost midnight here. It is late and I have not eaten dinner yet. What should I eat? I don't want to eat the wrong thing. I will eat nothing until I hear your reply. Your forever, Betsy the starving." I've

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157605808995183482006-09-07T05:44:00.000+01:002006-09-07T06:10:09.013+01:00

Vincent Bronswall emailed me this interesting question a few nights ago: "Dear Mr. Lampshire, I am fourteen years old. My parents just gave me $100 because they are rich and I am an only child who gets all the attention and never has to do any chores. I was wondering, Mr. Lampshire, how should I spend my new small fortune? I want to buy something, I just don't know what? What would you do

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157520266614502562006-09-06T06:00:00.000+01:002006-09-06T06:29:25.086+01:00

I got this email from Kelly van Schlouderblaugh: "Dear Chris Lampshire, I was recently browsing the Internet when I came across an article that talked about global warming and how we were all going to boil to death or live without snow forever, and it really worried my insides. Please tell me if this is something I should be concerned about! Yours truly, Kelly the ignorant." First of all,

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157423805422636172006-09-05T03:24:00.000+01:002006-09-05T03:36:45.440+01:00

Today's question comes from Peter Sterlingson from Alaska. He wants to know what instrument he should play in the marching band: "Dear Mr. Lampshire sir, My name is Peter Sterlingson. I have two dogs by the way. Anyway, now to my question. I hope to be in marching band this year! I signed the paper that said 'Do you want to be in marching band? If yes, check here *blank space* ... if no,

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157295223365671382006-09-03T15:34:00.000+01:002006-09-03T21:47:52.296+01:00

Our first question comes from Cassie from Lancaster... she writes: "Dear Mr. Lampshire, O dear me! Can anyone help me? I have a friend who's in a predicament. Her father told her to do her homework every night so that it would get done, but lately she's been just going to sleep and not doing her homework. Now her grades are really bad, like a failing grade in history and a failing gradle in

Christopher Lampshiretag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33796343.post-1157293283773579092006-09-03T15:20:00.000+01:002006-09-03T15:21:23.783+01:00

Hello, welcome to my all new blog! Since I won't be able to create more podcasts for while, I thought I should create a blog for all my answers to the many questions people have been emailing me. Since I am kind of old and have experienced a good amount of life, and also because I am just so smart, people often come to me for advice, opinions, and just answers in general. So welcome to my guide

Christopher Lampshire